Why my siblings and I had an awkward feelings with my father and vice versa /ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\ Por qué mis hermanos y yo teníamos una relación incómoda con mi padre y viceversa

in blurtlatam •  last year 

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My father on the left working in Saudi Arabia Electric Company, early 1980's.

Mi padre, a la izquierda, trabajando en la Saudi Arabia Electric Company, a principios de los años ochenta.

When my father had decided to work abroad to Saudi Arabia, me and my siblings are just very young. I can't even remember that he existed until we saw him came back for a short vacation from work. What I remembered was he bought a refrigerator and a black and white television. My sister was just a little baby and still cannot speak when he returned home. My father tried to carry her but she doesn't liked to be carried by my father on his arms because of course she was not able to recognize him because my father went away when she was a baby and returned while still young about two years later.

Cuando mi padre decidió irse a trabajar a Arabia Saudí, mis hermanos y yo éramos muy pequeños. Ni siquiera me acordaba de que existía hasta que le vimos volver del trabajo para unas cortas vacaciones. Lo que recuerdo es que compró un frigorífico y una televisión en blanco y negro. Mi hermana era sólo un bebé y aún no podía hablar cuando él regresó a casa. Mi padre intentó cargarla pero a ella no le gustaba que mi padre la llevara en brazos porque, por supuesto, no era capaz de reconocerlo porque mi padre se fue cuando ella era un bebé y regresó siendo aún joven unos dos años después.

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Aside from the work of my father in being hard because he is a heavy-duty equipment mechanic, he only has a low wage aside from being away from home.

Aparte de que el trabajo de mi padre es duro porque es mecánico de maquinaria pesada, sólo tiene un sueldo bajo aparte de estar fuera de casa.

His career in Saudi makes him to comeback again and again and staying over there for two years and then going home again for about two weeks vacation only. The reason is that we cannot save some money for the reason of low wages, particularly when cheap labor force from other nations had poured-in to Saudi. The effect was that the salary of the workers from my country went down in value. So over the course of ten years working from abroad he would resign and then go back home here and then tries to look for job openings from the newspapers. He would get hired but with a lower salary.

Su carrera en Arabia Saudí le hace volver una y otra vez y permanecer allí durante dos años y luego volver a casa sólo para unas dos semanas de vacaciones. La razón es que no podemos ahorrar algo de dinero por culpa de los bajos salarios, sobre todo cuando la mano de obra barata de otras naciones había irrumpido en Arabia Saudí. El efecto fue que el salario de los trabajadores de mi país bajó de valor. Así que en el transcurso de diez años trabajando desde el extranjero renunciaba y luego volvía a casa aquí y entonces intentaba buscar ofertas de trabajo en los periódicos. Le contratarían pero con un salario más bajo.

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When me and my siblings would see a plane up in the sky we would point at it and cheer and yell, "Tatay!"(Father). It is because we grew up always experiencing him going back to work in Saudi Arabia onboard in a plane and then picking him up again from the airport.

Cuando mis hermanos y yo veíamos un avión en el cielo lo señalábamos y vitoreábamos y gritábamos: "¡Tatay!"(Padre). Es porque crecimos viéndole siempre volver al trabajo en Arabia Saudí a bordo de un avión y luego recogerle de nuevo en el aeropuerto.

But of course I am very thankful about my father's sacrifice in raising us his family and helping out my grandmother because my father apparently sends them money without out knowledge because my mother doesn't even knew it until my own grandmother had told me when we had a conversation during my long vacation in their home up north in their residence. Anyway, my father's was always away during the crucial years that we are growing up because he is working abroad. That had affected our relationship with him and so the closeness about a parent to its child was already gone. Now we cannot even hug or kiss him, telling one another jokes and doing practical jokes, and all that because it will feel awkward to him and to us for the reason of being estranged already right from the start.

Pero, por supuesto, estoy muy agradecido por el sacrificio de mi padre en la crianza de su familia y ayudar a mi abuela porque mi padre aparentemente les envía dinero sin nuestro conocimiento porque mi madre ni siquiera lo sabía hasta que mi propia abuela me había dicho cuando tuvimos una conversación durante mis largas vacaciones en su casa en el norte en su residencia. De todos modos, mi padre siempre estuvo ausente durante los años cruciales en los que crecimos porque trabajaba en el extranjero. Eso afectó a nuestra relación con él y la cercanía de un padre a su hijo desapareció. Ahora ni siquiera podemos abrazarle o besarle, contarnos chistes y hacer bromas pesadas, y todo eso porque nos sentiremos incómodos tanto él como nosotros por la razón de estar distanciados ya desde el principio.

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My father is indeed a hero to us his family because of the sacrifices he made from being far away for many years from us. Overseas workers are also regarded as heroes in my country because their wages being sent here saves the economy of my country from collapsing.

Mi padre es un héroe para nosotros, su familia, por los sacrificios que hizo al estar lejos de nosotros durante muchos años. Los trabajadores extranjeros también son considerados héroes en mi país porque el envío de sus salarios salva la economía de mi país del colapso.

Right now because things had changed a lot in our current generation of people, the factor of going away for work for an extended period of time will not be the cause of estrangement that affects the parent and child/children relationship. It is because of the current technology that we are using where we can see the other person face to face in real time. So I am glad that at least there are very good effects of the modern technology to us which is unlike in the former decades where if someone would go to work abroad, you ill not be able to see them or talk to them in real time, it really causes relationships to weaken if not broken and I personally experienced this along with other people who sometimes experience a total loss of closeness to their parents even if the cause was about love and sacrifice for the same people that got estranged to them completely.

Ahora mismo, como las cosas han cambiado mucho en nuestra actual generación de personas, el factor de irse a trabajar durante un largo periodo de tiempo no será la causa del distanciamiento que afecta a la relación entre padres e hijos. Es debido a la tecnología actual que estamos utilizando donde podemos ver a la otra persona cara a cara en tiempo real. Así que me alegro de que por lo menos hay muy buenos efectos de la tecnología moderna para nosotros que es a diferencia de en las décadas anteriores, donde si alguien se iría a trabajar en el extranjero, que no será capaz de verlos o hablar con ellos en tiempo real, lo que realmente hace que las relaciones se debilitan si no roto y yo personalmente experimentado esto junto con otras personas que a veces experimentan una pérdida total de la cercanía a sus padres, incluso si la causa se trataba de amor y sacrificio por las mismas personas que se distanciaron de ellos por completo.

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Estrangement and awkward feelings is not not the case because we can already see and communicate with our loved ones from a far away land, even in real time face to face.

El distanciamiento y los sentimientos incómodos no se dan porque ya podemos ver y comunicarnos con nuestros seres queridos desde tierras lejanas, incluso en tiempo real cara a cara.

There are so many families had been affected by this phenomenon of being away for work particularly from the last three decades. But the feelings of estrangement varies and it gets worse when the parent would leave home to work overseas while their children is still young. It would cause the emotional detachment of the children towards their parent for the reason that I mentioned above which was an almost no means of direct communication between the parent and the child. However if the children already knows what is going on and already established a close relationship with their parent prior to the parent's departure, they will just miss the parents even if that happened from about three or more decades ago.

Muchas familias se han visto afectadas por este fenómeno, sobre todo en las tres últimas décadas. Pero los sentimientos de distanciamiento varían y empeoran cuando el progenitor se marcha a trabajar al extranjero cuando sus hijos aún son pequeños. Esto provoca el distanciamiento emocional de los niños hacia sus padres por la razón que he mencionado antes, que es la ausencia casi total de comunicación directa entre padres e hijos. Sin embargo, si los niños ya saben lo que está pasando y ya han establecido una estrecha relación con su padre antes de la partida del padre, simplemente extrañarán a los padres, incluso si eso sucedió hace tres o más décadas.

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An emotional attachment between the parent and the child must be established first before the parent goes away in order to avoid estrangement feelings.

Antes de que el progenitor se vaya, debe establecerse un vínculo afectivo entre él y el niño para evitar sentimientos de distanciamiento.

The "brain drain" phenomenon (which includes blood, sweat and tears) still is happening today. It is because there are not much opportunities in my country. That is why many professionals and other "blue collar" workers including scientists would prefer to go abroad and work overseas simply because they can never get a better future with a low-paying job in my country. Even some doctors here would go overseas, study a nursing course over there and work as a nurse because they pay for the nurses overseas is very high.

El fenómeno de la "fuga de cerebros" (que incluye sangre, sudor y lágrimas) sigue produciéndose hoy en día. Se debe a que en mi país no hay muchas oportunidades. Por eso muchos profesionales y otros "obreros", incluidos científicos, prefieren irse a trabajar al extranjero, simplemente porque en mi país nunca podrán tener un futuro mejor con un trabajo mal pagado. Incluso algunos médicos de aquí se irían al extranjero, estudiarían un curso de enfermería allí y trabajarían como enfermeros porque en el extranjero les pagan muy bien.

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Professionals and workers are just forced to go to work overseas because it is hard to live with low salaries and not much opportunity to find work.

Los profesionales y trabajadores se ven obligados a ir a trabajar al extranjero porque es difícil vivir con salarios bajos y pocas oportunidades de encontrar trabajo.

In my experience about the dialysis nurses in particular, they would plan ahead. They would also take a language course for the country that they want to migrate and work into. But they have to have some years of experience to practice their profession. The patients here will be their guinea pigs for their training. Then after that they will soon take examinations that aims for their qualification that will help them getting hired abroad. They will soon get hired and work abroad until their old age. Of course they will never come back here to work because of the smaller salaries. That is how it goes for the dialysis nurses and other nurses which is why you can find a lot of nurses in the west, Australia, and even in Japan and South Korea.

Según mi experiencia, sobre todo las enfermeras de diálisis planifican su trabajo con antelación. También hacen un curso del idioma del país al que quieren emigrar y trabajar. Pero tienen que tener algunos años de experiencia para ejercer su profesión. Los pacientes serán los conejillos de indias de su formación. Después, se presentarán a los exámenes para obtener la cualificación que les permita ser contratados en el extranjero. Pronto serán contratados y trabajarán en el extranjero hasta su vejez. Por supuesto, nunca volverán aquí a trabajar debido a los salarios más bajos. Así es como va para las enfermeras de diálisis y otras enfermeras por lo que se puede encontrar una gran cantidad de enfermeras en el oeste, Australia, e incluso en Japón y Corea del Sur.

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Nurses from my country in general have to go out overseas to earn substantially because they are overworked and underpaid here in my country.

Las enfermeras de mi país en general tienen que salir al extranjero para ganar bastante porque aquí en mi país están sobrecargadas de trabajo y mal pagadas.

Here in my country, most of the people would aim to work abroad because of the opportunity to earn more or getting a higher salary. For most workers, it is important to do that so that they can be able to provide for their families rather than working here in my country where job opportunities are hard to get which is always the case. Because of that they will have to look for "Greener pastures" in order for them to be able to nurture the family of their own. It is because they will expect that nothing will happen in their lives if they would not seek a better paying job abroad.

En mi país, la mayoría de la gente quiere trabajar en el extranjero porque tiene la oportunidad de ganar más o de obtener un salario más alto. Para la mayoría de los trabajadores, es importante hacerlo para poder mantener a sus familias en lugar de trabajar aquí en mi país, donde las oportunidades de empleo son difíciles de conseguir, como siempre ocurre. Por eso tendrán que buscar "pastos más verdes" para poder mantener a su propia familia. Si no buscan un trabajo mejor remunerado en el extranjero, esperan que no les pase nada en la vida.

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Even animals that graze would not have a better life if they will not to have a greener pasture eat from. Working in the west is the only option to make a better life.

Incluso los animales que pastan no tendrían una vida mejor si no quieren tener un pasto más verde del que comer. Trabajar en Occidente es la única opción para tener una vida mejor.

It is quite a good news in the end for the reason that the overseas workers from my country is contributing a crucial support for my country's economy. The dollar that the workers bring in my country really saves all of us here in my country because it is the major contributor of GDP numbers. That is why if all the overseas workers would only work here, it will not be enough for my country to hold or at least slow the the effects of global financial turmoil. I am glad that my country's government has a support for overseas workers because they are the ones that really feeds this country out from their own sacrifices which happen until maybe my country will transform with a better economy that will be enough to eventually cause for workers not to go overseas for work because they can already earn the same in my country. However, that scenario will not happen in the near future and may not even happen because I foresee that nothing can compare the salaries of workers in the west compared here in the east.

Al final es una buena noticia porque los trabajadores extranjeros de mi país contribuyen de forma crucial a la economía de mi país. El dólar que los trabajadores aportan a mi país realmente nos salva a todos porque es el principal contribuyente a las cifras del PIB. Por eso, si todos los trabajadores extranjeros sólo trabajaran aquí, no sería suficiente para que mi país aguantara o al menos frenara los efectos de las turbulencias financieras mundiales. Me alegro de que el gobierno de mi país apoye a los trabajadores extranjeros porque son ellos los que realmente alimentan a este país con sus propios sacrificios hasta que quizá mi país se transforme con una economía mejor que será suficiente para que los trabajadores no tengan que ir a trabajar al extranjero porque ya pueden ganar lo mismo en mi país. Sin embargo, ese escenario no sucederá en un futuro próximo y puede que ni siquiera suceda porque preveo que nada puede comparar los salarios de los trabajadores en occidente comparados aquí en oriente.

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The remittances of overseas workers into my country's dollar coffers makes the gears of economy to be well-oiled and working, that is why they are referred to as "Unsung heroes" of my country.

Las remesas de los trabajadores en el extranjero a las arcas de mi país hacen que los engranajes de la economía estén bien engrasados y funcionen, por eso se les llama "héroes anónimos" de mi país.


Translated in Filipino [Taglish]


Nang magdesisyon ang aking ama na magtrabaho sa ibang bansa sa Saudi Arabia, ako at ang aking mga kapatid ay napakabata pa. I can't even remember that he existed until we saw him came back for a short vacation from work. Ang naalala ko bumili siya ng refrigerator at black and white na telebisyon. Ang aking kapatid na babae ay isang maliit na sanggol at hindi pa rin makapagsalita nang siya ay umuwi. Sinubukan siya ng tatay ko na buhatin siya pero ayaw niyang buhatin ng tatay ko sa braso niya dahil siyempre hindi niya nakilala dahil umalis ang tatay ko noong sanggol pa siya at bumalik noong bata pa siya mga dalawang taon na ang lumipas.

Ang kanyang karera sa Saudi ay nagpapabalik-balik sa kanya at manatili doon sa loob ng dalawang taon at pagkatapos ay uuwi muli ng halos dalawang linggong bakasyon lamang. Ang dahilan dito ay hindi tayo makakaipon ng pera dahil sa mababang sahod, lalo na nang bumuhos ang murang lakas-paggawa mula sa ibang mga bansa sa Saudi. Ang epekto ay bumaba ang halaga ng suweldo ng mga manggagawa mula sa aking bansa. Kaya sa paglipas ng sampung taon na nagtatrabaho mula sa ibang bansa ay magbibitiw siya at pagkatapos ay uuwi dito at pagkatapos ay susubukan na maghanap ng mga bakanteng trabaho mula sa mga pahayagan. Kukunin siya ngunit mas mababa ang suweldo.

Pero syempre laking pasasalamat ko sa sakripisyo ng tatay ko sa pagpapalaki sa amin ng pamilya niya at pagtulong sa lola ko dahil pinadalhan daw sila ng tatay ko ng walang kaalam-alam dahil hindi man lang alam ng nanay ko hanggang sa sinabihan ako ng sarili kong lola noong nagkaroon kami. isang pag-uusap sa mahabang bakasyon ko sa kanilang tahanan sa hilaga sa kanilang tirahan. Anyway, laging wala ang tatay ko sa mga crucial years na paglaki namin dahil nagtatrabaho siya sa ibang bansa. Naapektuhan niyan ang relasyon namin sa kanya kaya nawala na ang closeness tungkol sa isang magulang sa anak nito. Ngayon ay hindi na namin siya mayakap o mahalikan, sinasabihan ang isa't isa ng mga biro at paggawa ng mga praktikal na biro, at lahat ng iyon dahil ito ay magiging awkward sa kanya at sa amin dahil sa dahilan ng pagiging hiwalay na sa simula pa lang.

Sa ngayon dahil malaki ang pinagbago ng mga bagay-bagay sa ating kasalukuyang henerasyon ng mga tao, ang kadahilanan ng pag-alis para sa trabaho sa mahabang panahon ay hindi magiging sanhi ng pagkakahiwalay na makakaapekto sa relasyon ng magulang at anak/anak. Ito ay dahil sa kasalukuyang teknolohiya na ginagamit natin kung saan makikita natin ang ibang tao nang harapan sa real time. Kaya't natutuwa ako na kahit papaano ay may napakagandang epekto sa atin ang makabagong teknolohiya na hindi katulad noong mga nakaraang dekada kung saan kung ang isang tao ay magtratrabaho sa ibang bansa, hindi mo sila makikita o makausap ng totoong oras, ito ay talagang nagiging sanhi ng mga relasyon upang humina kung hindi masira at ako mismo ay naranasan ito kasama ng ibang mga tao na kung minsan ay nakakaranas ng kabuuang pagkawala ng pagiging malapit sa kanilang mga magulang kahit na ang dahilan ay tungkol sa pag-ibig at sakripisyo para sa parehong mga tao na tuluyang nawalay sa kanila.

Maraming pamilya ang naapektuhan ng hindi pangkaraniwang bagay na ito, lalo na sa huling tatlong dekada. Ngunit iba-iba ang damdamin ng pagkahiwalay at lumalala kapag ang magulang ay umalis upang magtrabaho sa ibang bansa habang ang kanilang mga anak ay bata pa. Nagdudulot ito ng emosyonal na paglayo ng mga bata sa kanilang mga magulang sa kadahilanang nabanggit ko noon, na halos kumpletong kawalan ng direktang komunikasyon sa pagitan ng mga magulang at mga anak. Gayunpaman, kung alam na ng mga anak ang nangyayari at nagkaroon na sila ng malapit na relasyon sa kanilang ama bago umalis ang ama, mami-miss lang nila ang mga magulang, kahit na nangyari iyon tatlo o higit pang dekada na ang nakalipas.

Ang phenomenon ng "brain drain" (na kinabibilangan ng dugo, pawis at luha) ay nagpapatuloy hanggang ngayon. Ito ay dahil sa aking bansa ay walang maraming mga pagkakataon. Kaya naman maraming mga propesyunal at iba pang "manggagawa", kabilang ang mga siyentipiko, ang mas gustong magtrabaho sa ibang bansa, dahil lamang sa aking bansa ay hindi na sila magkakaroon ng magandang kinabukasan na may mahinang suweldo. Maging ang ilang mga doktor dito ay pupunta sa ibang bansa, mag-aral ng kursong nursing doon at magtatrabaho bilang nars dahil napakalaki ng suweldo sa ibang bansa.

Sa aking karanasan, lalo na ang mga nars sa dialysis ay nagpaplano ng kanilang trabaho nang maaga. Gumagawa din sila ng kursong pangwika ng bansa kung saan nila gustong mangibang bansa at magtrabaho. Ngunit kailangan nilang magkaroon ng ilang taon na karanasan upang maisagawa ang kanilang propesyon. Ang mga pasyente ang magiging guinea pig ng iyong pagsasanay. Pagkatapos, kukuha sila ng mga pagsusulit upang makuha ang kwalipikasyon na nagpapahintulot sa kanila na ma-hire sa ibang bansa. Malapit na silang matanggap at magtatrabaho sa ibang bansa hanggang sa kanilang pagtanda. Syempre, hindi na sila magtatrabaho dito dahil sa mababang sahod. Ganito ang nangyayari sa mga nars sa dialysis at iba pang mga nars upang makahanap ka ng maraming mga nars sa kanluran, Australia, at maging sa Japan at South Korea.

Dito sa aking bansa, karamihan sa mga tao ay naglalayong magtrabaho sa ibang bansa dahil sa pagkakataong kumita ng mas malaki o makakuha ng mas mataas na suweldo. Para sa karamihan ng mga manggagawa, mahalagang gawin iyon upang maibigay nila ang kanilang mga pamilya kaysa magtrabaho dito sa aking bansa kung saan mahirap makakuha ng mga oportunidad sa trabaho na palaging nangyayari. Dahil doon ay kailangan nilang maghanap ng "Greener pastures" upang sila ay makapag-alaga ng kanilang sariling pamilya. Asahan kasi nila na walang mangyayari sa buhay nila kung hindi sila maghahanap ng mas magandang trabaho sa ibang bansa.

Sa huli ito ay magandang balita dahil ang mga dayuhang manggagawa mula sa aking bansa ay gumagawa ng isang mahalagang kontribusyon sa ekonomiya ng aking bansa. Ang dolyar na dinadala ng mga manggagawa sa aking bansa ay talagang nagliligtas sa ating lahat dahil ito ang pangunahing nag-aambag sa mga numero ng GDP. Kaya naman, kung ang lahat ng mga dayuhang manggagawa ay nagtatrabaho lamang dito, hindi ito sapat para sa aking bansa na makayanan o kahit papaano ay pabagalin ang epekto ng pandaigdigang kaguluhan sa pananalapi. Natutuwa ako na ang gobyerno ng aking bansa ay sumusuporta sa mga dayuhang manggagawa dahil sila ang tunay na nagpapakain sa bansang ito ng kanilang sariling mga sakripisyo hanggang sa marahil ang aking bansa ay magbago sa isang mas mahusay na ekonomiya na magiging sapat para sa mga manggagawa ay hindi na kailangang pumasok sa trabaho. sa ibang bansa dahil maaari na silang kumita ng pareho sa aking bansa. Gayunpaman, ang senaryo na iyon ay hindi mangyayari sa malapit na hinaharap at maaaring hindi ito mangyari dahil inaasahan ko na walang maihahambing ang sahod ng mga manggagawa sa kanluran kumpara dito sa silangan.


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