当你的亲戚和朋友向你借钱时 When Your Relatives and Friends Borrow Money from You

in r2cornell •  last year 

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There is a Chinese expression called "Shaobao" meaning to be drunken with success, to the effect that one person is proud of his money and shows his wealth on purpose. Other people look uncomfortable and scold him for "Shaobao". It cannot be denied that there is no hatred of the rich in this abuse.

A man who has some money and puts it in his pocket is always worried about being stolen, so he keeps touching it with his hand, as if there is a fire burning there. This is the origin of the expression "Shaobao".

Chinese people are afraid of showing off their wealth, and they don't like others to show off. If their wealth is known by others, it will not only cause trouble, but also be stolen by bad people, causing disasters. Therefore, Chinese people like to make a fortune in silence. After all, wealth cannot be completely concealed. Others may not know whether you have money, but your relatives and friends may know. When your relatives and friends come to borrow money from you, a thorny problem we all encounter, and how do you deal with it?

It's really a dilemma to lend or not to lend. If you don't lend money to them, you will hurt the feelings or family ties, and this kind of kinship and friendship will also be broken and you may become strangers. But if you lend them money, and you would never know when it will be returned, or the money will never be returned, and you will suffer losses in vain.

In life, there are so many examples around us. When relatives and friends come to borrow money, they make promises and say a lot of good words. But once they get the money, they seem to have changed into another person. He doesn't pay back the money on the promised date. You are embarrassed to bring up the matter of paying back the money, but others never mention it. Several times, you are about to speak, but saying nothing. However, he is still reasonable and forceful: "So stingy, you are so hard on me to pay back the money. Isn't that little money?" At this time, it seems that the one who lends money is himself. At the end of the day, some people play tricks on others, saying that you want money I have none, you want life I have one. Originally, one is kind-hearted to lend money to others to help them, but in the end, one feels uncomfortable. There are also some people who are really unable to pay back the money, and you have no way to do. You can't bear to force others to pay back the money. You can only be unhappy and admit that you are unlucky.

No wonder some people say that if you want to lose a friend, you should lend him money. Although this is a bit absolute, it is not unreasonable. How to deal with the situation that someone borrows money from you?

When Xiao Wang wanted to buy a house worth more than RMB 100,000 yuan, he borrowed money from his aunt's e. His uncle lent him RMB10,000 yuan, saying frankly, "I have some savings, but that is the pension money for your aunt and me. I can only lend you so much." His uncle was able to explain everything to Xiao Wang, and he neither lost the relationship nor caused much trouble to himself. To say the least, even if the RMB 10,000 yuan is not paid back, it doesn't matter much.

Many years ago, a colleague of my sister-in-law working in former unit wanted to borrow RMB 50,000 yuan from her, saying that she wanted to do business. RMB 50,000 yuan is not a small amount, besides, who can predict the profit and loss of business? But the girl who borrowed money also helped take care of my sister-in-law's child. Having a good relationship, my sister-in-law could not refuse directly. Finally, she gave the girl RMB 500 yuan when she left. She didn't mention the thing of borrowing money, and I think, the girl should have understood.

Therefore, if relatives and friends want to borrow money from you, do not directly refuse or readily agree to it. The best way is to lend it to others according to the situation, even if others do not pay back in the future, the amount of money will not shake your economic foundation. Or, instead of lending money to others, you could help others for free in your power.

中国人有个词语叫“烧包”,大意是说一个人有了钱洋洋得意,故意显露财富,其他的人看着不舒服,便骂一声“烧包”。不能否认,这一骂里面没有一点仇富的心理在作怪。

一个人有了点钱,放在自己的口袋里,总是不放心,担心会被人家偷去,便不停地用手去摸,就好像那里有火烧着一般。这就是“烧包”一词的来源。

国人害怕露富,也不喜欢别人显摆,因为若被别人知晓了,不只是惹上麻烦,还有可能被坏人惦记,招来灾难,所以国人都喜欢闷声发大财。可财富毕竟是不能完全掩盖的,你有没有钱,别人可能不知,但你的亲戚和朋友不可能不知晓。我们都会遇到一个棘手的问题,当你的亲戚和朋友来向你借钱时,你又如何应对呢?

借还是不借,真的是让人左右为难。不借吧,会伤了感情或者亲情,这种亲戚关系和朋友关系也就断了,从此成了陌路。可若是借钱给他们吧,又不知这钱何时能够还回来,也有可能这钱再也回不来了,自己白白遭受损失。

生活中,身边这样的例子俯拾即是,亲戚朋友来借钱,借钱时信誓旦旦,好话说了一箩筐,可一旦钱到手,便似乎变了一个人。到了承诺的日期也不还钱,自己倒是不好意思提起还钱的事来,可人家绝口不提这个事。几次欲言又止,可人家还理直气壮:“那么小气,还催着还钱,不就是那几个钱吗?” 这时候,好似理亏的是自己,真的是欠钱的成了大爷。到了最后,有的人就耍起了赖来,要钱没有要命一条。本来好心借钱与人家,帮人家的忙,可最后却闹得心堵。也有的是实在无力偿还,你也没有办法,也不忍心逼着人家还钱,只能是心里不快,自认倒霉罢了。

也难怪,有人说,你若想失去一个朋友,那就借钱给他。虽说此话有点绝对,但也不是没有道理。那么遇到有人向你借钱这种情况,又该如何应对呢?

小王要买十多万元的房子,便向其姑姑家借钱,其姑父借给了他一万元,话说的也很实在:“我有点存款,可那是我和你姑姑的养老钱,我只能借给你这么多了。” 姑父力所能及,也向小王说明了一切,既没有丢了那层亲戚关系,也没有给自己招来多大麻烦。退一步,即使那一万元不还也没有多大关系。

许多年前,大姐原单位的一个同事向她借五万元钱,说是要做生意,这不是一个小数目,再者,生意的事情谁能预料盈亏?可那借钱的女孩也曾帮着照料大姐的孩子,关系也不错,又不能直接拒绝。最后,大姐离开时给了那女孩子500元钱,没有提借钱的事,那女孩子应该明白了。

所以,若有亲戚和朋友向你借钱,不要直接拒绝,也不要爽快答应,最好的办法就是视情况量力而行地借给别人,即使将来别人还不上也动摇不了自己的经济基础。或者,不是借钱给别人,而是力所能及地无偿帮助别人一下。

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